Dear Nolan and Jon

Dear Gentlemen,

In 86 days my world will be right again.  In just 86 short days, you will be in Houston welcoming the Astros to the American League and I would like to be there with you.  I don't care about the off-season departures or the wild card game loss to the stinkin' A's.  None of that will matter in 86 days when my boys run onto the field of Minute Maid Park and take it to the Astros.  That being said, I submit to you a few of the MANY reasons you should hire me to be part of this organization.

1.  Have I mentioned that it's only 86 days until Opening Day?  I am currently reading a baseball book and watched a baseball movie last night.  While the book is great so far, it has some underlying chick tones that I'm not sure you two would enjoy.  The movie, however, was fantastic.  Well, it was until the guy playing the GM said an unknown pitcher looked like Koufax.  He was left handed and that's where all similarities ended.  There was only one Koufax and there will never be another.  He was the greatest pitcher to ever take the mound, no offense Nolan.  Who retires at 30 years old, in there prime, and is elected to the Hall on the first ballot?

2.  Toby Harrah is my favorite Ranger of all time.  I know that this little piece of info could sway things either way, but it's the truth.  I was too young to see him play live in the 70s here, but the red-headed 2nd baseman won my heart in the mid 80s.  He's why I played 2nd base.  He's why I wore number 11. 

3.  My best friend is the biggest Nolan Ryan fan on the planet.  In college, she had a life-size Nolan poster on her wall.  I'm not sure this will make much of a difference in your decision, but spreading a little Nolan love never hurts.

4.  I learned to love baseball and the Rangers from my Mom.  I still smile when I go to the ballpark and see so many people walking around.  When we went and still go to the games, Mom doesn't walk around.  She's there to watch the game....the entire game.  I don't know if you guys have noticed, but baseball is played in the summer, and the summer in Texas is HOT.  Add to that the fact that my family comes from a long line of sweating people and it can get a little uncomfortable.  No problem for Mom though.  She always keeps Kleenex and napkins in her purse to mop up the sweat.  Always prepared and ready to cheer on the Rangers.

5.  I have a FANTASTIC promotional idea.  It's a well known fact in the baseball community that baseball players have the best rear ends in all of professional sports.  I don't know why, but it's an undeniable fact.  My husband hasn't played professional baseball in years, and you could still pop a quarter off his behind.  So I propose this....gather athletes from other sports and line them up against our boys.  Have "ladies night" and let the ladies vote on it.  It would probably be best if this were a picture on paper or a monitor.  That way we could avoid the uncomfortable copping a feel issues that would inevitably arise.  If you don't believe me, ask Ruth.  I'm sure she would be in full agreement!

As I said, those are just a few of the reasons that I should be made a member of the Texas Rangers organization.  I hope this letter gets to you soon.  You only have 86 days to figure out what my job should be.  I'm ok with being an assistant to either one of you guys.